Poems and Stories

 

All The Fine Things Gone

Look at the clouds

Aren’t they so fine?

I wish I could climb up a grape vine

And jump on the clouds

Look at the sky

Isn’t it so fine?

It can take on all of the colors

At twilight the color of wine

Look at the mountains

Aren’t they so fine?

I wish I could climb up to the top

And paint the landscape below oh so divine

Look at the trees

Aren’t they so fine?

I wanna take one

And make it all mine

All of these fine things in the world

One day will be gone

Once all of these fine things are gone

We’ll go too

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

And yet: the beginning of another story (its about faries! !)

 

Finally deciding that I had nothing to lose, I hopped out of the cage. Before I could say anything I was flying through the air, the wind knocked out of me. When I got to looking down I saw that I was taller than the trees and they were getting closer. Panic filled me as I realized this, but then something caught me in the back of my shirt and hauled me up.

 

“Ewwwww, he was right. You don’t have your wings yet, ” said the girl who told me to get out of the cage. “What are you staring at? “

I was at a loss for words. My eyes were locked upon her fire red wings. In my stupor I didn’t realize that we were flying over the forest at an alarming speed.

 

“Look, ” she finally said taking me out of my trance. “Head Quarters”

 

I saw a big, no scratch that-a castle. It was jet black and seemed to shimmer. Its walls were the highest I had ever seen. There were tall towers and turrets, there were people holding crossbows up on the walls standing stock still, watching everything meticulously. It didn’t scare me though; I didn’t know what to feel. As I was thinking on why I felt that way the girl stopped abruptly, and we started to free fall. Now I was scared. So scared that I couldn’t even scream. I was paralyzed with fear as I saw that we were going to land on stone. The wind making my eyes water and hair whip every which way. The girl whipped out her wings at the last possible moment, slowing our descent. As we land on the ground I started screaming at her.

 

“What was that for? You could have killed us! What if you dropped me? “

 

“First off calm down! Second if I dropped you I would just fly over and catch you. I’m actually kind of surprised; they usually puke and pass out when we land.”

 

“I’m shaking like I’ve got an earthquake in me! You could have given me a little heads up! “

 

“If I told you that I was just going to dropp like a bomb on a stone wall would you have said yeah let’s do it? “

 

She was right; I would have done whatever I could to keep from doing that. “Fine, truce.”

 

“Truce, now let’s go inside and get something to eat, I’m starving! “

 

She grabbed my wrist and stepped on the back of my knees making me collapse.

 

“What are you doing? ” I screamed, trying to fight back.

 

“until we trust you, you will be shown around like this.”

 

“Shown around like what? “

 

A black blindfold was slipped over my eyes and something was plugged into my ears. In my wrist I felt a shooting pain, I am pretty sure that I screamed. Now I was numb all over and couldn’t feel a thing. Then something foul tasting was poured into my mouth, my tongue was numb and I couldn’t taste the liquid anymore. She did the same thing to my nose taking away any feeling I had on my body. Then I realized that she had just taken away my five senses. Now I was just floating in a dark abyss, scared and alone.

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

Fear

 

Boom

Crash

Rattle

Tattle

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

Bing

Bang

All my thoughts mixed around

Rah!

Rah!

Parents yelling

Me fighting

Woosh cold blood coursing through my veins

Swish

The wind whispering devious things in my ears

I think and think

But

Bing bang

All my thoughts mixed around

Daddy

Rah!

Watch what your doing

Mom

Rah!

Shape up!

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

Boohoo!

Cry?

Feel bad for myself?

Ha-ha!

Laugh?

Stop caring and don’t do anything?

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

Ha-ha-ha!

An evil laugh echoes in my ears

Whose is it?

Mine

I have laughed

I have cried

I have said oh woe is me

Stopped caring

Didn’t do anything

Rattle

Tattle

I don’t want to be in this place

Hubbahubbaloo

Its all gibberish

Its really hard

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

I’m lost

I need to find myself

Fear

It’s a terrible thing

It takes over you

It makes you think terrible things

Boohoo

It makes you curl up on your bed and

Cry

Weep

Sob

Bawl

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

For You

 

if you were going to be hit by a car i would jump in front of the car with you so we could die together…. even though you don’t love me….i would die for you…and if you couldn’t be saved…..i would die with you

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

Happy?

 

I answer all of your questions

Are you wearing a belt?

Yes.

Did you eat all of your food?

Yes.

Did you finish your homework?

Yes.

Did you check your grades?

Yes.

I stay happy

I put a smile on my face

Sometimes I get annoyed

Sometimes it shows

Most of the time I act like I’m happy

I’m really good at it too

You all believe that I am truly happy

When really all I cant to do is curl up and cry

All I want to do is lay in bed and never lay my eyes on your faces

I do everything you ask of me

Will you clean the bathtub?

Yes.

Will you clear the table and do the dishes?

Yes.

Will you babysit your sisters?

Yes.

What you never ask me is

-Are you happy? –

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

He Was There For Me

 

he was there for me

when nobody wanted me

he was there for me

when people hurt me

he was there for me when I stabbed him in the back

he was there for me

when i made my first lie

he was there for me

when my mother took her first swing

he was there for me

when daddy said good bye

he was there for me

when tears flowed out of my eyes

he was there for me

when i was afraid

he was there for me

when i was in need

he was there for me

when i first skinned my knee

he was there for me

when i read my first words

he was there for me

when i was wrong

he was there for me

when my screams of pain never seemed to cease

he was there with me

when mommy took me to the movies

he was there with me

when daddy smiled at me

he was there with me

when mommy rubbed my ear

he was there with me

when mommy first told me she loved me

he was there with me

when i moved into my new home

he was there with me

when my mommy played with me in the snow

he was there with me

when my daddy rocked me and told me everything would be alright

he was there through it all

and he still is

he is my best friend

he helps me see they way on a dark path

his name is God

he loves me

he loves you too.

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

Homeless

 

All of those cars

Filled with food they’re never gonna eat

Zoom past

Some glare

Some stare

Some nod

Some but barely none give me something worth while

Most don’t even look at all

They know I’m here

I’m not invisible

 

But

I might as well be

It angers me

When I see a fake homeless one get all the goods

And when they’re done for the day

They gather up all of their money and food

And hop in their red mustang to their fancy two-story house.

 

But today is a different day

Someone came

They didn’t just drive past

They stopped

They opened their door and told me to get in

I was skeptical at first

But I thought, what else have I got to lose?

 

When the car stopped

It stopped in front of a grand house

Big enough to house the world

As I was staring in awe a flood of children came running out the door

It scared me at first

But then I saw their smiles

 

I smiled and ran with the children up onto the porch

A little girl looked up at me and said

‘if you walk into this house you are accepting this gift but if you walk away you will be denying the gift.’

I smiled and took a step forward into an entirely new life

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

How I feel right now (mostly)

 

I am not the girl next door

I will matter

I will become someone important

Don’t tell me that it’ll be easy

That will just make it harder

Don’t tell me things I already know

Because

I am not the girl next door

I will matter

I will become someone important

My name will be in the history books

And not because of one of my relatives

I am not a weak link

I am strong

No matter what people say

I matter

I will laugh when they end up calling me ‘boss’

I will laugh when I prove them wrong

I will prove them all wrong

And I will laugh

I will triumph

And I will smile

A true smile

Knowing that I did it

I didn’t give up like the rest

I stuck through

And it payed off

I am not the girl next door

I will matter

I will become someone important

Don’t tell me that it’ll be easy

That will just make it harder

Don’t tell me things I already know

Because

One day

I will laugh

I will smile

I will triumph

 

Liliana Roman

 

I AM

I am beautiful and unique

I am freshly mown grass

I am a loud roar

I am a soft whistle in the wind

I’m a infant’s first smile

I am a sour lemon

am a sweet bowl of sugar

I am a hurt child and tears of pain

I am the pleasure of the setting sun and rising moon

I am poetic beautiful and unique

I am me

And no one can tell me otherwise

I am a loud quiet

I am no mystery for I can be read like a book

I am a sweet apple fritter

I am a sunny day

I am a stormy day

I am me

And no one an tell me otherwise

I am a mother reading stories to children

I am many things

There are too many to list out

However that’s what makes me

Me

I am me and no one can tell me otherwise

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

I AM (2)

 

I am the reality of death

I look the lie of life

I am the reality of sour lemons

I look the sweetness of strawberries

I am the reality of all those ‘you lied to me ‘moments

I look the girl that has never been lied to or told a lie

I am the reality of the abused child next door

I look the girl that was never hurt and was always fed

I am the hurt and broken child that lives next door but never see

I look the beautiful unscarred sweet little girl that lives next door and always sees

 

you don’t see me

you see what you think is me

the girl that you see is about to give up

when you read her bibliography all it will say is:

 

she finally gave up

she dropped the fake smile,

as a tear ran down her cheek

and she whispered to herself

 

‘I can’t do this anymore.’

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

i am the warrior (im not sure how to finish it can you help me?)

 

I am the warrior

I glare at the army in front of me

I tighten the grip on my sword

I shift the shield on my wrist

I am ready

My battle cry rips through me as a raise my sword to the sky

I am the warrior

 

The sky lours behind me

My world is on fire

But I have conquered my doubts and I am set on my task

It matters little what I face

In my warrior power I am unflinching, vital and ready for all

I am the warrior

 

Charge

I hear the horse’s steady panting, they too know what’s happening

I hear the cries of my fellow warriors

I have no time to wonder whether I’m going to live or not

I have set in my mind that I will not die but I will win because I can do anything

 

Five feet

Four feet

Three feet

Two feet

One foot

Zero

 

I fight with an intensity only I am capable of

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

I Believe

 

I believe in the power words can have

The respect every human being deserves

The blind faith of children

The importance of education

The small steps it takes to achieve greatness

 

But the belief that good works get you to heaven is just idiotic

 

I believe in the power of being friends first

I believe in the power of cinnamon in your snow cream

I believe in the power of an attitude

 

And I believe in the great power silent influence has on an individual

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

Hello

 

Hi

My name is Carmen

I am seven

Today my mommy

Spanked me

I jumped on the bed

She said it was wrong

She said to teach me

She had to spank me

Hi

My name is Carmen

I am seven

Today my mommy

Hit me

I asked her to play

With all my manners

She said “go jump on the bed”

“but mommy” I asked

“You said to never jump on the bed”

She slapped me and told me to shut my mouth

“It’s all your fault you little bitch”

I went to my room

Face stinging

Eyes watering

I sat on my bed and stared at the wall

Wondering

What was all my fault?

Hi

My name is Carmen

I am seven

Today my mommy

Beat me

She was drunk

As she always was

She was puking

So hard blood came

I leaned her over the toilet

I told her everything would be okay

When she was done

I lead her to the bed

And got her water and crackers

I cuddled her and told her I loved her

That I would never leave her

With that

She got up and yelled

“I don’t need you and I don’t want you! ”

She threw me off the bed

And she jumped on top of me

Giving me

Never ending

Punches

About 10 minutes later

Her arms tired

She stood up and walked out the front door

Leaving me unconscious and bloody

Hi

My name is Carmen

I am seven

Today my mommy

Let her boyfriend rape me

She said that if I even made a squeak

That she would kill me

He ripped my clothes off

And duct-taped my arms

He said he liked them young

It hurt really badly

And all the while

I was thinking

What did I do wrong?

Hi

My name is Carmen

I am seven

Today my mommy _______

I was on my best behavior

I stayed in my room all day

I didn’t say a word

I just stared at the wall

All day long

Towards the end of the day

She stormed into my room

“It’s all your fault! ”

“but mommy, what did I do wrong? ”

Those were the first words

I had said in days

She picked me up and threw me against the wall

She started hitting me with anything in reach

Books

Toys

Oh wait, I didn’t have any of those

Hands

Just hands

But those hands brought the most destruction

“I hate you! ”

“But I love you!

And those were the last words

I ever heard or said

Hi

My name is Carmen

Today my mommy

Murdered me

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

I don’t want to be here

 

I don’t want to be here

I don’t want to be here

Not at all

It’s a jungle out here

There’s violence

There’s rudeness

Don’t get me wrong

There’s good here

It’s very hard to find

Because all of the good is cowering in fear

The bad

It drags me out of bed

Forces me to walk into the brick abyss

Once I’m in, the blackness surrounds me

The bad is all around me

Inside the bad

I search for the good

It’s hard

The bad

Pushes me

Pulls me

Makes me stumble

I struggle to remember

Why I am there

I am the light

I search for my fellow light

There in the darkness

It’s hard

But I get the job done

I try to turn the darkness into light

And turn from wicked ways

I do not want to be here

Not at all

I am afraid

No, not even that

I am

Horrified

Terrified

Shuddering with fear

You might ask

If you’re so afraid, why are you here?

It is my duty

There is one more thing

I forgot to tell you

I love it

I love comforting the scared light

And helping them shine bright

The dark

Is my reminder

Of why I am light

Why I get back up when I fall

Why I fight

The darkness may

Drag me from my bed

And force me to enter that brick abyss

But it’s what life’s all about

When you are pushed

To and fro

You keep going

You keep fighting till the very end

Life is a war

AND WERE ALL ON THE FRONT-LINE

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

My Rambling Love Thoughts

 

He isn’t a good guy

But I cant help myself

I’m falling for him

He is way to old for me

He is a you know what

He is everything a girl like me shouldn’t be interested in

But I’m falling

And I can’t catch myself

I was told

To stay away from boys

I’m trying

But everyday

I see

Him

Him- the guy

The

Sweet smelling

Nice

Generous

Good-looking

Guy

Every time I see him I glow

I started talking about him and now I cant stop

He is just so amazing

In all the wrong ways

Not in sex or anything like that

But in-

I am a sweet little girl that doesn’t deserve to have her heart broken

The guy- is a heart breaker

Oh my gosh

He is just so amazing and I don’t know what to do

Its almost 10: 00

I’ve gotta go

My mom’s coming

Okay I ‘back

I fell asleep so I’m on the bus now

I’m listening to Love The Way You Lie right now and its making me think of him

Every song I listen to makes me think of him

 

‘Just gonna stand there and watch me burn but that’s alright because I like the way it hurts

Just gonna stand there and watch me cry but that’s alright because I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

I love the way he lies’

 

I know that everything he says is going to be lies but I love him anyway

Now I’m listening to bring me to life by evanescence

 

‘Wake me up inside

I cant wake up

save me from the nothing I’ve become

bring me to life

Frozen in side without your touch without your love darling

Bring me to life

Wake me up

Wake me up inside

I can’t wake up

Bring me to life’

 

this is how I feel about him too

 

‘Frozen inside without your touch, without your love darling’

 

I feel like I’m in a dream that I cant wake up from

I wish I could

Sometimes when I’m around him I feel like I’m dead

Like I just don’t exist anymore

I want to say his name

You know

Just say it

Personally I think his name is fun to say

But if I said it that would be weird because I’m on the bus

I’ve had too may people to count tell me that we would make a cute couple

But really?

Maybe I should just go up to him and kiss him

He doesn’t even like me back so what am I worrying about

Maybe I should just go lesbian

No that would just be nasty

My heart literally hurts right now

Probably cause I just noticed I’ve been holding my breath this whole time thinking about him

I can barely talk when I’m around him

Whatever

Oh my gosh I’m at school and I’ve been typing this whole time

Well I gotta go

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

Once and a while

 

O please, oh please

Why don’t you smile once and a while?

Your frown makes my mouth fill with bile.

You seem to think that nothing about you matters

It makes me

Mad

Mad

Mad

Like the mad, mad hatter

What is wrong?

Do you fell as though you don’t belong?

You don’t see

That I spend all of my time

Trying to fill your heart with thyme

Oh no!

It seems that I have run out of rhymes

O please, o please

One smile

That’s all I ask

Just one smile

Just one genuine smile

Just one smile

Just for me?

 

 

*it takes less muscles to smile than it does to frown but yet I know that smiling can be one of the hardest things in the world to do.*

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

Perfect

 

Perfect place

Perfect house

Perfect room

I am not home

Perfect friends

Perfect life

I am not home

To everyone everywhere

Everything seems perfect for me

However

I am not home

I am alone

In a far remote place

I do not know where

I am scared

I am not home

In this odd place

The sun does not rise

Something blocks it

My heart does not beat

There is no feeling

I am lost

I am scared

I am not home

At night in my perfect bed

I cry for mommy and daddy

I hug my teddy bear

He does not hug back

Ha also knows

I am not home, he is not home

Where am I?

It is cold

My perfect home is a garbage dump

The perfect place a waste land

Barren and cold

When the wind blows

I fall over

I am scared

I am lost

I am not home

Something is keeping me here

I want my mommy, I want my daddy

Please let me go home?

I am cold

I am hungry

My mind is empty

Fun is no longer in my vocabulary

Why won’t it stop?

Let me go home

Perfect place

Perfect house

Perfect room

I am not home

Perfect friends

Perfect life

I am not home

Where is home? I am not there.

Did home change?

Or did I?

I am scared

I want to go home

Where is it?

Can you tell me?

Do you know?

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

ROBOT

 

I feel nothing

No hurt

No pain

Maybe it should be this way

 

Let down of the family

Disappointment

Liar

Complete and overall nuisance

 

I used to be scared

Sad

Mad

No, these aren’t even the words for how I used to feel

 

But now I feel nothing

Nothing at all

I’m a robot

functioning on auto-pilot

 

Maybe it should be this way…

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

Sorry?

 

im sorry

i let you down

i cant say anything else

im sorry…..

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

The Pain I Can’t Get Rid Of

 

Thinking about you hurts

I bottle up my agony

Not letting anyone see

At night it practically pours tears

When I finally fall asleep

I fall asleep not caring if I didn’t get back up the next morning

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

this is an unfinished story

 

</>

prologue

 

‘so you’ll meet me? ‘

‘yes’

‘you remember what’s going to happen if you don’t come? ‘

‘yes’

‘see you in a year’

‘ok’

‘oh, and remember. I never forget’

 

The End

 

Catherina’s vision was blurred as she looked into the familiar eyes. She wasn’t sure if it was the cool calm breath on her forehead, or the jagged knife stabbed into her chest. Why the knife was in her chest, she had no idea. There was no pain, no fear. The breath was calming and peaceful. Catherina hadn’t yet made the thought of whose breath it was. Suddenly the breath left her, pain and anguish coursed through her body, instantly she knew that there was no hope. She was dying. As she was shuddering in agony the breath returned but this time on her neck. She didn’t think that pain could get worse than this but it did. The thing that pierced the flesh of her neck felt like searing hot melting metal, it felt as though she was being drained of energy. All of the sudden the pain was ripped away there was shouting, hissing, and clanging. “It is okay princess! ” a voice shouted, “you’re going to be okay we are here to help you princess”! The voice sounded distant for the world started to fade from Catherina’s view.

 the beginning

She awoke in a bed with white whipper bird feather sheets; the room was made of a beautiful sand colored stone. Light brown tapestries hung from corner to corner on the walls. She climbed out of the warm covers, walked across the room; she came to a little white table with a washing bowl, a vase filled with water, a bar of goat milk soap, and an odd letter. Catherina read it to herself

 

Dear princess,

Greetings! My name is Yelena and I am the one who saved you from death.

Your chest is fine; your neck will take some time to heal.

I and three other people live In this very house and our job is to protect people like you, royal people.

You are an orphaned Italian sorceress princess (i know thats a long title) .

Let me restate what I said earlier. I and five other people live in this house. Two of those people are one prince and one princess whom I believe that you will get along well with. I know this is a lot to tell you so I will tell you the rest when we get back for we have just run out to the market to pick up a few goods and will be back shortly. You are free to explore the house but you must not leave the house until I say you can. Thank you.

Cordially,

Yelena Bastions

 

Well, Catherina thought ‘this is way more than just weird. One minute I am dying bleeding to death and the next minute I’m perfectly fine in my only imagined dream room let alone house. This is way beyond weird! I’m not a princess either. I’m a little poor teenager from Italy. I’m not an orphan my parents names are Isabella and Phillip Petrova. I’m Catherina Petrova. “Well” Catherina sighed I might as well look around before this so called Yelena Bastions and her friends come back. She opened the door and took the first step into an entirely new world. “This house is better than my dream house”! Catherina exclaimed. The floor was a beautiful gray tile with pretty black swirls in it. The walls were black with gold tapestries made of silk. The black was a light black so that it felt cheerful and light instead of feeling dark and drowsy. The crowning and bases where an elegant white. I feel like a princess. Catherina said in wonder. Oh wait I am a princess, she said dumbly. Then she saw a very peculiar door. That’s weird, Catherina said. The door looked like metal. It was red and had an orange glow. “I think I can feel it”, she thought “I can sense something. Okay this is definitely weird. That is a door, people do not sense doors. Well, maybe I’ll just have a look.” She felt as though she was being pulled to the door, she felt as she had a need and a want for the door. The door needed her.

“Catherina! ” a voice yelled. “Don’t do it! ” “You’re not ready yet! ”

she whipped around feeling offended; However she had no idea why being stopped affected her so much. Catherina turned around and saw the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. The woman raised her hands and yelled “stop”! Finally the worried expression left the woman’s face and the brightest smile Catherina had ever seen lit up on the woman’s face.

“I see you’ve found you way around, and I assume you found my note”?

“Um, um, oh yeah; yeah I did. Are you Yelena Bastions”?

“Why yes I am little one! Now, you are probably wondering where you are right now aren’t you.”

“Yes, I’m really confused right now. First of all I have parents, how can I be an orphan?

“That is a story meant to be told after you meet everyone.”

‘Isabella, Valec come here please! I am training them as I will train you to manifest your powers and regain you throne.’

In the distance Catherina heard sharp whispers. ‘No don’t do that your going to break it! Catherina felt angry all of sudden. Why was she here, what was that thing that attacked her, why isn’t she dead, and why can’t she leave?

‘All of your questions will be answered in time’ said Yelena. now she was appalled, did Yelena just read her mind?

All Yelena did was smile and look forward.

A voice startled Catherina out of her stupor. ‘hi there! ‘

It was a girl dressed in the latest Italian apparel, her hair was black as coals. Her eyes were a deep attention grabbing mix of yellow and grey. She was about Catherina’s height too. She looked like the type of girl that could get anything she wanted from a man if she wanted it.

‘I’m guessing your Isabella? ‘

‘you guessed right. I’m guessing your Catherina? ‘

‘yes’ Catherina found it easy to talk to Isabella, there were no awkward silences, no undermining stares, nothing. However Catherina noticed that Isabella was somewhat familiar.

‘have I ever met you before? ‘ asked Catherina

‘I was just wondering the same thing.’

now Catherina was about to break, she hated not knowing things. Who was she and why is she so familiar? So much for no awkward silences there was a really big one happening right now.

‘Uh, how about we get something in your bellies’? Said Yelena looking uncomfortable.

 

The dining room was elegant and light. ‘this is fit for a princess’ said Catherina feeling uncomfortable.

looking uncomfortable.

 

The dining room was elegant and light. ‘this is fit for a princess’ said Catherina feeling uncomfortable.

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

Voices

 

I try to drown them out

With my music

When I raise the music

They raise their voices

 

All the rumors

All the mean words

All the backstabbing

All the everything

 

Finds a way in my ears

But its not like school work

It doesn’t go in one ear

And out the other

 

It stays

It sticks

Then the worst happens…

It slips out of my mouth

 

Then that makes me no different than those voices

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

WAR

 

No soldier stands alone

We are all soldiers on our own battle field

We fight out own fights

We die our own deaths

The war lasts a lifetime

Maybe even two

But there is a war that will go on forever

The war inside you

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

What Did I Do Wrong?

 

I’m speeding down the street

Music booming

Trying not to miss you

But every song I listen to

Reminds me of you

Now there is snot and tears running down my face

I drive faster

Trying to leave my pain and want behind

But it keeps up

It stays right there with me

Making me wonder what I ever did to you

Wondering what I could do to make it all better

I turn up the stereo to full blast

It was our song

We would dance to this song

You would pick me up and twirl me

And when our eyes met…

It was like heaven came to earth

The world was perfect

Even though all I knew was lies

My ears are bleeding

The music is so loud

People in the other lanes look at me like I am the devil’s spawn

But then they see the tears on my face and the blood flowing from my ears

I look to my left, to see if I can turn

There he is

There at the stop light

I watch his light turn green

And he rides away

Knowing I was there but not caring

I scream

I LOVE YOU! ! ! !

But it doesn’t matter

The music is too loud

And he is long gone

My heart feels like its about to jump out of my chest

And run down the street to him

The problem is

He broke my heart

And every time it beats

His lies seep out

They seep out like a black ooze

An ooze only I can see

By the time I get home I’m paralyzed and racked with sobs

When I’m not crying nearly as hard

I look out and see that it’s raining

I get out of the car and sit on the ground

I let the rain pour down on me

Then I look up to the sky

I only have one thing to say

Why?

I get up and move to the back yard

I lay on the grass and scream

Once I start

I can’t stop

I scream a scream for pain

A scream for want

A scream for everything

I can feel my weary self drift off

I go to sleep hoping I won’t wake up the next morning

But then my eyes fly open as I remember

As I remember all of the lies you fed me

All of the

I love you

All of the

I want you

All of the

I need you

All of the

I’ve never met anyone like you

All of the lies that you put me through

Its raining even harder now

The wind is blowing and the hurricane siren is blowing

But I don’t get up

I wake up the next morning surrounded in white walls

A man comes up to me and asks me what my name is, and who the president is

I get both questions wrong

After he reminds me I remember

He was telling me about how I was caught out in a hurricane

And they found me unconscious on the street in a coma

He told me that I had been in a coma for about a year now

But I didn’t care

I started to remember the lies

The hatred

The want

The pain

The not given love

I remembered everything

Then came the actual news

Miss, I am sorry to tell you but your body just can’t support you any longer

He told me all of the sicknesses I had that they couldn’t give the medicine to because it would interfere with another medicine they would give me to cure another illness

When he was done telling me all of the reasons I was dying I said:

No, I am dying of a broken heart

When I die tell everyone all of my illnesses that I died from

But tell the one I love that I died of a broken heart

not because he loved me too little, but because I loved him too much

And tell him that I saw through the lies and I saw the real him

And I still loved him

Please tell him that

I love him

And those were my last words as a single tear dropped from my eye and my eyes fluttered closed…

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

When I See You

 

I hate having to look at you

I hate having to see you with her

She doesn’t deserve you

She’s already hurt you

Our hugs seem to last forever

But just as I think we will be there for all eternity

It ends

I love you

I’ve been loving you

I hurt when I think about you

Which means I hurt every moment of every day

We’ve kissed before

But it was a one time thing

I want it to happen again

But I have to respect you and her

I see you in the hall way

And I have to look away quickly

Sometimes I feel like killing myself

Because I cant have you…

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

WHY TRY?

 

Work work

That’s all I do

No matter how hard I try

I’m always behind

So what’s the point?

If your always behind

Always straggling

Why try at all?

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

YOU HAVE NO IDEA

 

I hate it when people have no idea what its like.

To be the let down of the family

Maybe the other girls will be perfect

I’m not

I really did miss it

It wasn’t a lie

It really wasn’t working

It wasn’t a lie

They have no idea

What it feels like

To be the let down of the family

Yeah I did a whole lot of bad things

But I want to change

I really do

I’m probably going to live on the streets when I get out of high school

I’m scared

I’m mad

I’m trying I really am

So why cant people just shut up and HELP ME! ! ! !

O God please help me.

 

Liliana Roman

 

 

You Ripped Out My Heart

 

For you i fell head over heels but not only did i skin my knees but all of the skin on my body was ripped off, and your hand reached up from the ground and ripped out my heart. it pricked my heart with pins and needles. making me fill with an unbearable want and pain called love.

 

Liliana Roman

 

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